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Monday, August 30, 2010

It Has Happened

Well the thing I was looking forward to the least with this pregnancy has happened - I've run out of steam.

A girl I work with asked if it was different being pregnant in the summer vs winter. To be honest, I haven't really noticed the affect of the season. The only thing I know is that it's much much much different to be pregnant while chasing a toddler then to be pregnant without a little one around!

When I found out I was pregnant, I worried that I wouldn't have enough energy to keep up with a very active Tucker. I thought it was unfair for him that Mama couldn't play and be rowdy with him. I've carried around this little shred of hope that I would somehow maintain a high energy level throughout my pregnancy and not deny Tucker of any fun play-with-Mama time. But this weekend, the inevitable happened and I just can't keep up with him now.

Sunday while Alec mowed, I did my best to play with Tucker while maintaining the peace between Tucker and the wiener kids. I really wish the wiener kids would give in and let Tucker torment them as he does Mango (the lab kid). Anyway, I grew tired of trying to keep every one's hands and paws to themselves so Tucker and I went upstairs to the play room.

As Tucker played with his toys, I sat in the floor and cried over this lazy blob of a mama I had become. My frustrations with Tucker and the dogs and my zero-energy level had gotten the best of me.

When Tucker was born, I envisioned myself as this fun, fit mom who played and played and played with her boy. But this person crying in Tucker's playroom was nowhere near that mom.

Then I heard something and there was Alec - Super Daddy - to save the day! He scooped Tucker and me off the floor, threw us in the car and we headed to the splash pad for some fun in the sun!

When we got home, Tucker and I were no longer fussy and we both laid down for much needed naps. And all was right in our little world again.

I know I only have a little bit longer in my current "delicate" condition. And it probably sounds totally insane, but I'm looking forward to the easiness of taking care of a baby.

And if you see me in about 4 months, remind me I said that!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

November 22

We received a form letter in the mail on Thursday:

Surgery Date: 11-22-10 Hospital: St. Johns Check in time: 10:00am

Not...the miracle of birth shall happen; nor... welcome the new addition to your sweet little family; not even... meet your baby...

So sterile and clinical...surgery date.

Ok to be a little more clear as to what is happening on November 22 around 10 am...our new sweet baby boy will make his grand entrance onto planet Earth!

So 3 months from today, we'll be singing "Happy Birthday" for the first time to our little bundle of joy.

As I write this, our sweet boy Tucker is eating blueberries and dancing in his highchair. I have a smile on my face and a full heart.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Braxton Hicks = Yowza!

I thought I had experienced Braxton Hicks contractions with Tucker but I may have been proven wrong last night! Just as I wiggled into a somewhat comfy position in bed, I felt like someone wrapped their arms around my entire belly and squeezed the begeezus out of me! Yowza! The squeeze lasted maybe 1 minute though it seemed much longer. I rolled to my other side (I'm not supposed to sleep on belly or back anymore - boo!) and laid there for a few seconds then another SQUEEZE!!!

This went on for maybe 10 or 15 minutes - rolling to side, SQUEEZE, roll to other side, SQUEEZE. Seriously! This stinks! Luckily this was well past my 9:30ish bedtime so I eventually succumbed to sleep and that was that.

These Braxton Hicks contractions stink because it's just pain pain pain nothing. With real contractions it's pain pain pain baby!

Since I'm having a c-section, this may be the only time I experience contractions with this pregnancy. Though my due date may not be right so there is a slim chance that I could go into labor before my c-section is scheduled and have contractions! Ok weird to hope for contractions & labor? Yes - but it's all part of the baby experience!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I Feel Pretty!

After my rant yesterday, I'm feeling quite pretty today! I guess I had to get all that ugly off my chest...plus it doesn't hurt that all of my sweet babies slept through the night and didn't wake up this oh-so tired mama (thank you sweet babies and Jesus!).

I have on my cute maternity dress that I picked up for a whopping $4 at Goodwill last weekend. Hey! A deal is a deal! And not only do I help keep cash in dear hubby's pocket, but I also help keep perfectly good things out of the landfills. You're welcome dear hubby and mother Earth! My little kitten heals are being nice to my expanding and tired feet too. Yea!

And I was so well rested that I managed to fix my hair - with a blow dryer, a round brush and hair product! Fixed! Nice! I even have on makeup - eye shadow and everything!

I think I finally feel like I'm in my second trimester - happy and a wee bit energetic! Too bad my 2nd trimester ends in 3 weeks...or does it? Hmmm...wonder if my due date is off a bit? That's a whole other blog post!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Shut Your Mouth!

I'm really amazed at the things that people say to a pregnant girl. I mean - honestly AMAZED! Let me set the scene for you.

When you're pregnant, you obviously gain weight. And not a slow consistent weight gain. When pregnant with Tucker, I gained 45ish pounds in 10 months. The last time I gained 45 pounds, it took maybe 10 years.

Also, every doctor and book will tell you that "normal" weight gain during pregnancy is like 20 or 25 pounds. AND you're not really supposed to start gaining till your 2nd trimester, but really your 3rd is when you pack on the pounds. So when you've gained 10 pounds in the first trimester, you're not exactly feeling like the prettiest girl in the world. You kinda feel like you're already failing at this whole pregnancy thing.

So on top of feeling gross for being way too fat way too fast, you also worry - constantly - about your baby. Will my baby be ok? Did those 2 mojitos I had before I realized I was pregnant hurt my baby? Is this stomach ache a sign something is wrong with baby? Why is baby moving around less today? Will plowing through a box of cookies in 3 days hurt baby? I mean - constant worry!

So now you're feeling less than awesome about yourself (oh - I failed to mention the acne, gas, hairiness and inability to reach legs to shave and toes to make them pretty) and you've worked yourself into a frenzy about your baby. On top of all that, people want to share with you their nightmare birthing stories - and not just their own, but other people's nightmare birthing stories. I think I've held my tongue pretty well and not graced any soon to be moms with my own birthing story. A girl I work with posted on Facebook that she was going in for her induction - yea! I was like - Yeah...I was induced...it hurt like hell and 19 hours later, I had to have a c-section so don't get all excited that you're having a baby anytime soon!

I also now know why my close friends didn't tell me about the horrible last month. Had I known, I would've been eating Mexican food, drinking Castor oil and having lots of...well...doing everything possible to have the baby a wee bit early! I keep my lip zipped about the last month too!

Anyway - put all that together - feeling huge, worrying about baby, worrying about birth - and you get a pretty freaked out girl. So here are some things to NEVER EVER SAY TO A PREGNANT GIRL (EVER!):

1. I thought you looked pregnant (do not say this before the 4 month mark).
2. You're really filling out!
3. (when looking at ultrasound picture) - No deformities or anything!
4. My friend's epidural spot didn't close all the way and she found it seeping when she was in the shower later.
5. You're starting to look pregnant!
6. How many plates (of food) is that for you now?

Oh - and that "how big around is the mom-to-be" game that's played at showers. No. Don't do this. I know how big around I am. I'm reminded every time I put on something else that doesn't fit. I don't need a game made of this.

These are things that have been said to me or I've overheard being said to someone who is pregnant. I think it just goes back to putting oneself in the pregnant girl's shoes - even if you're a boy. You have to understand the enormous change taking place physically and emotionally and be ultrasensative.

And if you must comment on her appearance, tell her she looks pretty. Tell her she's glowing! Tell her her little belly looks so cute. Tell her what a lucky baby she is carrying to have such a healthy mama! Just be NICE! It's really that easy!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A Mama's Love

I've been watching Bethenny Getting Married? and have witnessed through Facebook a lot of friends become first time moms. Something that is a common theme is the overwhelming love that all of these ladies have for their little ones. And I know exactly what they're talking about!

No one told me about this when I was pregnant...along with what a contraction felt like or how horrible month 9 is. But I now know what a mother's love is all about. I don't just love my sweet boy, I'm totally head over heels in love with him. He's the absolute light of my life. Really the hugeness of this love is indescribable... but I'll try.

It's like you take the best of everything you have with other people and throw it all together. It's the passion I feel for my husband and our family. It's the respect and admiration I have for my grandparents. It's the awe I have for my mom raising two kids on her own. It's just the most heart pounding, gut wrentching, crazy love you could ever experience.

Of course the little booger drives me to the edge of insanity sometimes too! Alec and I have started to pitch in and help out when one of us needs a time out. If either one of us is on the verge of losing it and needs a break, then the other removes them from the situation and takes over. It seems to be working out pretty well - we're kinda yin yang like that.

And when the new baby arrives, I'm sure things will be even crazier. But there's nothing that will stop me from relishing in the love I'll have for him. And that makes it all worth it.