Cesarean Blues

Baby in belly is due November 28, but we'll have a c-section the week before. There are a few reasons why baby is being delivered this way:
1. The first time around baby/ body didn't quite cooperate so chances are second time around will be the same.
2. It's been too soon since last baby born so risk for complications would be greater.
3. Most doctors won't perform a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean).

I feel like each time I tell someone our due date, I have to add the little disclaimer: *but I'm having a c-section the week before so..."

I asked my doctor if there was any chance at all that I could have a regular delivery. She said unless I show up in full labor and dilated to about an 8, then there's no way I'd have a regular delivery.

Before I had Tucker, I couldn't understand why everyone didn't have c-sections. I mean, you can schedule the exact day you want your baby to be born. There's no being in labor for hours and hours on end. There's no screaming and cussing out your poor hubby. There's no fainting hubby. There's no pushing out something the size of a watermelon. So many benefits - right?

But when I found out I was having a c-section with Tucker, I cried and cried. First of all, I was scared to death. I had never had any sort of surgery and I knew what the number one risk with any surgery is - death.

And secondly, having a baby the "regular" way is what I'm supposed to do. This is why my body is the way it is - why girls have babies and boys don't. It's the fundamental reason why God made girls the way he did.

I find myself getting upset at the fact that I'll never have baby the way God intended me to. How weird is it that humans are the only animals on the planet that sometimes have their babies cut out of them?

I consulted my sister about this - also a 2-time c-section mom and she knew exactly how I felt! I feel like a little less of a woman.

It's funny that I sometimes find myself saying - when comparing someone else's pain -"Oh yeah? Try giving bir - oh wait - try having routine surgery with a local anesthetic, an epidural, a Demerol drip and feeling absolutely no pain whatsoever! Yeah! Take that!"

But maybe I do know a little something about pain that others don't. I know what it feels like to try to walk after a c-section then giving up after a 1/2 inch shuffle from my bed. I know what a clogged mammary duct feels like. I know what a "bad latch" feels like. I know what it feels like when a toddler stands on just the right spot on my scar. Yowza!

So now the only mystery left is what day and time my surgery will be. There will be no rushing around to get to the hospital. There will be no counting between contractions. There will be no focussed breathing or screaming at Alec "This is all your fault!". There will be no need for our family to sit for hours waiting and waiting.

There will only be a baby with a perfectly round head and beautiful color.

Feeling Very Pregnant

I'm starting to feel very pregnant these days...heartburn, sore feet & back, cramping...good times! When we went to the doctor on Monday I told her about a pain I had in my side. She told me it was my stretching ligaments. Oh yeah! I completely forgot about stretching ligaments!

I keep thinking I'm not far enough along for the yucky stuff to start - since I now know what lies ahead of me. But I refer back to the Belly Book I kept with Tucker and I'm pretty much right on track.

Oh and baby in belly likes to kick - A LOT! And he likes to kick all hours of the day...and night! I don't remember Tucker being quite this active at 21 weeks though he is very very active now!

I feel like a wienie being all "woe is me" now at only 21 weeks. I know about that last month. No one told me about the last month when I was pregnant with Tucker. But I know about it now. Absolute misery.

So I'm just going to try to make myself as comfortable as possible and hunker down for 4 more months. And if you see a pregnant girl, be sweet to her. Hold the door open for her, offer her your seat, let her cross the parking lot. She may be feeling very pregnant too!

Over Half Way There!

This week marks our 21st pregnancy week...over 1/2 way there! I'll be at 40 weeks on 11/28 but since I'll have a c-section a week before (at 39 weeks), then we only have 18 more to go. Whew! That's a lot of math!

We had our 21 week appointment on Monday morning. I wasn't a happy camper at work that morning and had gotten myself pretty worked up by the time we got to the doctor's office. Then in the elevator, some lady was just staring at me! Seriously! Just staring! I just about decked her and as we got off the elevator, I said to Alec (loudly)"Did you see that lady just staring at me?!?! I mean...she was just staring!!!"

I was pretty sure my blood pressure was going to be through the roof and this would be the day (fingers crossed) they would insist I be put on bed rest. But lo and behold, my blood pressure was almost perfect - the best they've seen with this pregnancy!

We heard the baby's heartbeat (perfect!) and my belly measured right on target. But I was still full of piss and vinegar so I tried to pick a fight with my doctor. I was sure my due date wasn't right, but she wouldn't budge and told me it was in ink and not changing. Poor Alec just let me go on my rant until I finally gave up.

I still think my due date is off. So when I have a c-section at 39 weeks and my baby is 45 weeks old, don't forget I told you so!

Wiener!

Yesterday we found out that the baby in my belly is made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails! Yes! We're having another boy! I'm so very excited. I really dig having a ornery stinky little boy and to have one more in our crazy lives...sounds like heaven or maybe the brink of insanity! And besides I want to be the only princess in our house!

When the ultrasound technician started exploring my belly with the magic wand, she found the baby and we saw its heart and spine but the little stinker wouldn't show us the goods. In the waiting room I had begged, please be sitting on a glass table. This is the only time in your life I'll ask you to do this so please comply. But alas, the wee one was being modest (he is his mother's son). So the technician started banging on my belly to get the baby to move. Really? Is that necessary? I offered to roll around but she was perfectly content taking out her frustrations on my bulging midsection.

And finally, she paused for a moment. We all looked at the screen and Alec yelled "WIENER!" I honestly don't know how anyone can see anything on those things but I went along with Alec and the technician and was like - oh yeah - I see it - a boy! While I cried, I think I may have heard a "cha-ching" and seen dollar signs in Alec's eyes.

And so begins (again) dodging fountains of pee.

Baby News

Today is Tucker's 15 month birthday! It felt like he was 13 months forever and now it's already been 2 more months! Crazy!

He had his wellness check-up today which included 4 shots. Boo! His head is big, he's a little bit short but his weight...well...he's a little feller. In my quest to feed Tucker only the best things, I inadvertently deprived my boy of calories! Is it my fault that the kid loves his fruits and veggies?

When I asked our pediatrician how to increase Tucker's calorie intake, his suggestion - butter. I love it! He said when we give him vegetables, put some butter on them! Better yet, how about a stick of butter covered with sugar? That should put a little fat on his bones! Just kidding!

So now we're trying to figure out how to beef up our baby without filling him with junk. Wouldn't it be nice to have that problem? I wish I was too skinny!

Speaking of nowhere near skinny, I have noticed that I'm a lot more pregnant than I realized! In the mirror, I look kinda pregnant. In pictures...oh my...I look ginormous! Maybe I should cut out the sugar coated butter sticks.

Baby in belly is moving and shaking like nobody's business - flutters and little kicks here and there. I'm still tired most of the time and I have been painfully reminded of leg cramps during pregnancy. But there's a sweet little prize at the end so it's all worth it!

We'll find out tomorrow (fingers crossed)if baby in belly is a boy or a girl! I can't believe we're already at 20 weeks! We're actually over 1/2 way there because I'll have a c-section at 39 weeks.

I remember the days leading up to Tucker's 20 week ultrasound. I was a complete mess! I felt like if we saw a little Tucker, then we were losing a little (insert girl name here) and vice versa. I would bawl my eyes out every morning in the shower. I hoped with all I had that I would somehow turn out to be pregnant with twins - 1 boy and 1 girl. But as soon as the ultrasound tech said "It's a boy!" and she and Alec tried to show me the "proof", I was on cloud 9!

We really don't have a preference - just a healthy sweet baby. I love my boy to pieces and certainly wouldn't mind having another one around. Boys are just so much fun! But a girl would be nice too - a little mini me. Can you imagine? Scary!

The ice cream is calling my name...and I think the cookies are too. I'll leave the sticks of butter for Tucker!

Colorado 2010

We just returned from a 3 day / 3 night camping trip to Durango, Colorado! Since the last time I went camping involved a keg, this was a bit of a learning experience for me. There were a few frustrating moments, definitely some good times and a few lessons learned.

Frustrating moments:
1. Waking up at 4am to make our 6-something flight.

2. Entertaining a 15 month old from 5:45 am - 10:20 am when our delayed flight finally left Tulsa.

3. Fussy Tucker on the flight from Denver to Durango. Yes - we were "those people with the fussy baby".

4. Popping ears. My ears have never popped so much in all my life. I think they're still popping!

5. Snoring brothers-in-law.

6. Losing my contact lens in the bathroom...and failing to pack a spare pair.

7. Rain...sun...rain...sun...clouds...sun...rain...rain...clouds...I think Will Rogers was actually talking about Colorado - not Oklahoma - when he said the this: "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute and it'll change".

8. The fresh mountain air sending me home with some sort of cold or allergy condition.

Good times:
1. Tucker sleeping on the flight from Tulsa to Denver!

2. Finding my contact (though on the bathroom floor of a public restroom at a campground...still a highlight of our trip!)!

3. Spending time with my brothers-in-law whom we rarely get to see.

4. Waking up to a crisp mountain morning and not immediately sweating when stepping outside.

5. Tucker sleeping on my lap on the plane on the way home.

Lessons learned:
1. When dealing with bears, do not sleep in the clothes you are preparing and cooking food in. Seriously. Bears. In our camp.

2. 40 degrees at 2am really isn't that cold when you are snuggling with a 15-month old while rocking him to sleep in the front porch swing...and scared because you've mistaken the snoring guy in the tent next door for a bear.

3. Don't expect to accomplish much when a 15-month old, a public restroom, an open trash can and a plunger are involved. Thus the reason for dropped/ temporarily missed contact lens.

4. Mamas need naps. Babies REALLY need naps!

5. I'm a lucky girl to have such an amazing little family and wonderful in-laws!