Shut Your Mouth!

I'm really amazed at the things that people say to a pregnant girl. I mean - honestly AMAZED! Let me set the scene for you.

When you're pregnant, you obviously gain weight. And not a slow consistent weight gain. When pregnant with Tucker, I gained 45ish pounds in 10 months. The last time I gained 45 pounds, it took maybe 10 years.

Also, every doctor and book will tell you that "normal" weight gain during pregnancy is like 20 or 25 pounds. AND you're not really supposed to start gaining till your 2nd trimester, but really your 3rd is when you pack on the pounds. So when you've gained 10 pounds in the first trimester, you're not exactly feeling like the prettiest girl in the world. You kinda feel like you're already failing at this whole pregnancy thing.

So on top of feeling gross for being way too fat way too fast, you also worry - constantly - about your baby. Will my baby be ok? Did those 2 mojitos I had before I realized I was pregnant hurt my baby? Is this stomach ache a sign something is wrong with baby? Why is baby moving around less today? Will plowing through a box of cookies in 3 days hurt baby? I mean - constant worry!

So now you're feeling less than awesome about yourself (oh - I failed to mention the acne, gas, hairiness and inability to reach legs to shave and toes to make them pretty) and you've worked yourself into a frenzy about your baby. On top of all that, people want to share with you their nightmare birthing stories - and not just their own, but other people's nightmare birthing stories. I think I've held my tongue pretty well and not graced any soon to be moms with my own birthing story. A girl I work with posted on Facebook that she was going in for her induction - yea! I was like - Yeah...I was induced...it hurt like hell and 19 hours later, I had to have a c-section so don't get all excited that you're having a baby anytime soon!

I also now know why my close friends didn't tell me about the horrible last month. Had I known, I would've been eating Mexican food, drinking Castor oil and having lots of...well...doing everything possible to have the baby a wee bit early! I keep my lip zipped about the last month too!

Anyway - put all that together - feeling huge, worrying about baby, worrying about birth - and you get a pretty freaked out girl. So here are some things to NEVER EVER SAY TO A PREGNANT GIRL (EVER!):

1. I thought you looked pregnant (do not say this before the 4 month mark).
2. You're really filling out!
3. (when looking at ultrasound picture) - No deformities or anything!
4. My friend's epidural spot didn't close all the way and she found it seeping when she was in the shower later.
5. You're starting to look pregnant!
6. How many plates (of food) is that for you now?

Oh - and that "how big around is the mom-to-be" game that's played at showers. No. Don't do this. I know how big around I am. I'm reminded every time I put on something else that doesn't fit. I don't need a game made of this.

These are things that have been said to me or I've overheard being said to someone who is pregnant. I think it just goes back to putting oneself in the pregnant girl's shoes - even if you're a boy. You have to understand the enormous change taking place physically and emotionally and be ultrasensative.

And if you must comment on her appearance, tell her she looks pretty. Tell her she's glowing! Tell her her little belly looks so cute. Tell her what a lucky baby she is carrying to have such a healthy mama! Just be NICE! It's really that easy!