The Woes of a Weaning Mama

Tucker and I have decided it's best to start the weaning process so hopefully his transition from mama milk to moo-moo milk is a smooth one. Also, Tucker has - at times - treated me a bit like a Slush Puppy dispenser which makes me feel a little less special and little more functional. I've shed a few tears but I'm ready and excited to begin the next phase of Tucker's life.

Before Tucker was born, I really could not wrap my head around the concept of breastfeeding. But I decided to give it a whirl - not only for financial reasons but because I think of myself of a traditionalist and this is what mamas do. I bought a couple of nursing bras, some nursing pads and a pump and I was all set. Oh how little I knew then!

First there was the pain. I had heard breastfeeding could be painful, but I wasn't ready for the pinching that came with each time Tucker would latch on nor was I prepared for the clogged duct. Holy cow! Clogged ducts HURT! I quickly purchased a tube of Lansinoh ointment which soothed my raw and tender boobies. And thank goodness Alec paid attention in our breastfeeding class! He noticed I wasn't holding Tucker just right and after a few pointers, I made adjustments and I'm forever grateful that one of us didn't have pregnant brain during class!

And when my milk finally came in..hello wet t-shirt contest! There was no turning back at that point! But, not only did breastfeeding sometimes give me sore and engorged boobs, but neck pain too! When Tucker nursed, I would watch him and soon my neck was all jacked up! But soon enough as Tucker was planted to my boob, I was planted to the boob tube. TV saved me from the pain in the neck of breastfeeding!

Oh and the fun of lactating! My boobs could hear a baby a mile away and they were front and center - ready at a moment's notice! Down girls! That's not our baby!

It was near time for me to return to work, so one day, I faced this foreign contraption all working mamas must endure at some point - the breast pump! Talk about nervous! I was sure I would get some sort of electrical shock from having something plugged into the wall that was pulling liquid from my body. I only tried it for a few minutes at first but it worked and it didn't kill me! That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Indeed!

Along my breastfeeding journey, I discovered all sorts of breastfeeding friends! The Boppy - a must have for all breastfeeding moms! On July 4th, I used these fun strips that can tell if your boobs have had too much beer (they did!). I also found that when everyone recommends the big (expensive) industrial (expensive) double-pump (expensive) Medela (expensive)pumps are the way to go, they are! I burned through 2 lesser pumps before succumbing to the big mamma-jamma Medela Pump In Style double pump. Let me say that again. I burned up the motors in 2 pumps. Yes - I'm on my third pump! I also used my Macgyver skills to turn 4 simple pony tail holders into hands-free contraptions for my pump!

Not only do I have mad MacGyver skills, I'm also quite Boy Scout-ish in that I believe you should always be prepared! In preparation for our trip to New York in November, I froze several bags of milk so Tucker could still have mama's milk without the mama. I called the hotel ahead of time and asked for a mini-fridge in our room. I bought extra bags and a found little insulated cases in which to transport my precious cargo home on the plane. And I bought batteries for my pump's battery adapter.

On our last day in NYC, we checked out of the hotel, hopped on a tour bus and took a day long tour of the Big Apple! I told myself I'd pump before we got in the taxi to the airport. That didn't happen. Then I said I'd pump when we got to the airport. That didn't happen. Ok - I'll pump on the plane. I had my kick ass teddy bear nursing cover and the plane is loud - no one would know! We boarded the plane and at this point, it had been 10 hours since my last pumping - about 7 hours overdue! Then the captain came on, we were 23rd in line to take off. Are you kidding me?!?! So I told Alec that I would have to pump right then and right there! As we're sitting on the tarmac, I threw on my cover, got "them" out, locked and loaded and...no pumping. The batteries were in wrong - I'm notorious for this. But alas, I only had 2 batteries not 4. We asked the flight attendant for more batteries. She didn't have any. With tears in my eyes and milk starting to flow, I told her what I was trying to do. Sorry - no batteries. My boobs were engorged and I was sure they would explode! Then...just when I was sure I would die, she had 2 batteries from an old CD player she found! By that time, we were ready to take off, but the flight attendant, bless her heart, said I could use my electronic device! The heavens opened up...either because I was finally getting the sweet relief I desperately needed or because I was about to take down the plane with my pump.

But I persevered - through the pain, sleeplessness and inconveniences. Because it wasn't about me. It was all for Tucker. Ok - a little for me. There's something about knowing that the first few months of Tucker's life, his only nutrition came from me. And I'm sure he has been as healthy and as happy as he is because of me. I'm so proud of myself for making this sacrifice!

I'm not sure how the next couple of months will go for us. I'll probably delete LC's number from my cell phone. No, that isn't my celebrity friend from The Hills. LC is the lactation consultant at St. Johns whom I've called on several occasions!

I suppose our bedtime feeding will soon be replaced with reading a book or just snuggling close. But I'm pretty sure we're both going to miss our little mama-Tucker special time together. Hopefully potty training will be just as endearing!