Thinking Too Much!

I'm totally over thinking this baby thing. Alec has to keep talking me down from my freak outs. Last night it was parenting and today it's childbirth.

I hope I'm a good mom. I hope I have the patience and understanding to be a decent parent. I hope I know when to let things go and to accept my imperfections.

I hope Tucker is a nice boy - that he's compassionate and sweet and kind and has a good heart. I hope he's smart and ambitious. I hope we have enough life experience to teach him good morals and values. I hope he respects girls and appreciates all the strong independent women in his life.

And obviously inductions happen all the time or they wouldn't do them. I've never been in the hospital - never had an IV or anything like that. I'm scared out of my mind about this. Alec told me what he knows about IVs so at least I have some idea of what to expect with that aspect. I went from thinking I would have a drug-free childbirth to needing 2 different drugs just to jump start things!

I have no idea how to think of anything else right now. It would be better if I didn't know that in less than 24 hours, I'd be checking in to the hospital to begin this next step. I keep hoping, with everything I have, that my water will break or I'll start having contractions and not have to go through this final countdown. It's funny that I'm usually totally organized and plan everything I can, but for once, I want spontaneity and to be completely blind sided. I think Tucker owes us this much!